Zeus looked down on the Parthenon, a scowl on his face. The view hadn’t changed in hundreds of years, plenty of tourists but not a single bloody worshipper. Something had to be done. Lots were drawn and the five losers, Pan, Hades, Hebe, Vesta and Janus ended up in a 3 bedroom semi in Brighton, tasked with overturning religious beliefs that had existed for millennia.
Needless to say, the five gods and goddesses faced a steep learning curve, but they soon realised that humans were far more entertaining than they had imagined. Once they’d adjusted, they embarked on their mission to rekindle belief in the ancient gods. They used the power of the media, home-made pharmaceuticals and questionable charm to divert the human race from their everyday worries, working on the premise that an uncluttered mind is a receptive mind. They were so successful that even Zeus, their boss, was impressed
During their sojourn on Earth they realised that their immortal life, debauched and luxurious as it was, was hollow and empty. Among the humans, they found fame and fortune, freedom to laugh and love. Pan and Hades, one a fickle sex addict, the other the brooding lord of the Underworld, discovered a passion so deep that it transcended worlds. Hebe and Vesta were lauded by feminists as they proved that, with enough self-belief, women really could have it all. Janus, thoughtful and serious, could see the past and the future and eventually decided that it was time for them all to return home to Olympus.
They’d had all tasted true freedom and refused to let it go. Callous, belligerent Zeus had his human followers back, but it came at a price. Mount Olympus would never be the same again. Gay marriage, divorce, women’s rights, a transgender boatman – the immortal deities learned to embrace them all.
However, as the decades passed, the gods and goddesses were, once again, slipping from the humans’ minds. The only thing for it was another trip back to Brighton, better prepared, with a greater understanding. This time they even took Cerberus, Hade’s three headed dog (although modified to fit in with canines on Earth).